Breathe Page 11

  I pull back and look into his comforting eyes, saying nothing. He nods in understanding and kisses my forehead. “Love you.”

  I nod in return.

  Spotting Miles standing by the glass doors I quickly go straight to him. He grabs me and pulls me into the tightest hug he’s ever given.

  Another small cry leaves me.

  “Shhh. I’ll take care of this, Gracie. It’ll all be okay.”

  “I know.” I nod into his chest. My nose drips onto his shirt and he chuckles.

  “Love you.” He leans in and whispers in my ear. “Just to let you know, Linc panicked when I told him what we found. He thinks it’s his fault for taking you to his club last night. He has no idea how this happened. But he’s been helping me try to figure out who it was. He really cares for you Gracie. Let him.” He pulls away and grabs my shoulders with both of his hands. “He’s a good man. Would I be his friend if he wasn’t?”

  “You’re a good man, Miles.” He pulls me forward and lays a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose. I take a step back. “Where’s Asher?” I say turning to scan the room.

  “Looking for me, Sis?” Asher is sitting at the bar next to Lincoln. I walk over and hug him.

  “Are you okay? Did anyone bring this up at school today? I don’t want another fight about me like at your last school.” I pull away and look at his face, searching for fight wounds.

  “I’m fine. School was fine. Nobody said anything to me about you.” He lets out a small chuckle. “Besides, after that fight I had in the quad the other day no one has messed with me. I think I’m the school badass now.” He laughs

  “You are hardly a badass. And don’t swear.” I give him my best ‘mom’ face. “Do you have homework to do tonight?”

  “Yeah. But I thought I would have some dinner first.”

  “Alright then.” I look over his shoulder and notice Amy in the kitchen making what I think is her infamous homemade pizza. “Hi, Amy.”

  “Hello, dear. Did you have a nice rest?”

  “I did. Thanks.” I glance over to Lincoln who is staring back at me. I can’t handle this right now, so I turn on my heel and walk into the living room. My phone starts buzzing in Rafe’s hand. He hands it to me, but not before hugging me.

  Ugh.

  “Hi, Daddy.” Everyone in the room stops talking and faces me. “I’m fine...No I’m not alone. Miles and some others are here.” I walk around the couch toward the stairs that lead to the second floor of the apartment. “Yes, I’ve seen him... Yes, he’s here too.” I chance a look at Lincoln whose eyes are fixed on me. I rub the charm that Daddy gave me for my sixteenth birthday, a teddy bear. “It’s okay Daddy. He didn’t know either...I know you know him. You know everyone Daddy...No you don’t need to be here. It’s not a huge deal. This will blow over like all the other times...No. I’ll be fine. Just stay and I’ll talk to you tomorrow...I love you too.” I drop to sit on the second step of the staircase and bow my head so my forehead rests in my hands. Duritz comes and lays on top of my feet. “Shit,” I mumble.

  Lincoln rises off his stool and comes to me. Squatting down so our eyes are the same level, he lifts my chin with a crooked finger and says in a quiet voice, “Are you sure you’re okay? And don't just say that you’re fine. I think it's beyond that.”

  Why does he have to care? It would be so much easier if he didn’t.

  “Yes. This’ll all be over by tomorrow. People tend not to care after twenty-four hours.” After all these years of being in the public eye, it all still gets to me; mostly because I don’t want my brothers paying the price for me and my actions. It also pisses me off that Lincoln is now involved in it. We had an amazing night and now it's tainted with all this mess.

  A lone tear trickles down my cheek. He wipes it away with the pad of his thumb. We remain still and stare at each other for an undetermined amount of time. Just his presence calms me. I don't want it to, but it does.

  He slowly leans in to me. I break our stare and look down at the step below me. He can't kiss me. Not now. Not like this.

  “Would you like to stay for dinner? Amy makes the best pizza.”

  He lets out a small laugh and nods. “Sure. I’d love to.” Grabbing my hands, he lifts me to him. We’re once again in a comfortable embrace. I close my eyes and take in the calmness that he brings to me. The manly smell he consists of weaves its way through my senses. This embrace and that smell make me feel like everything will be okay. But I know it won’t be. Tomorrow is another day. And there are many more days of bull like this to come that I’ll need to deal with; that the family will have to deal with. This is what my life is. It’s a public life and not one that I want to bring an “outsider” into. I keep as many things as private as I can for just family and friends, but most of me is public, an image I was born into. Daddy doesn’t understand all of it, hence Miles picks up after me. Patrick knew how to handle it; he grew up with it too. We were two cuts from the same cloth.

  Damn it. I kind of miss him right now.

  Lincoln doesn’t know this life. At least I don’t think he does. Either way he doesn’t need to be dragged into it. He is way too successful to have me drag him through the mud and ruin things.

  I back out of his embrace, force a smile up towards him, and walk into the living room to join the rest. I just can’t get myself to talk to him about this situation. He needs to not worry about it. Miles will take care of it. Miles always takes care of it. Whatever little bit is left, Rafe picks up. Daddy puts too much pressure on Miles to take care of the “problems” that involve the family. I guess he doesn’t want to get his own hands dirty or tarnish his reputation. So, Miles steps up and cleans all the messes. Most of them revolve around me and the media attention that I always get. I’m not sure why, but it is what it is.

  Once I became a teenager everyone started to notice me more. And being the only daughter of one of the biggest media moguls in the country sure didn’t help. Where I went, mattered. What I wore, mattered. Who I spent my time with, mattered. It had settled down a bit while I was away at Princeton, but now that I’m once again a resident of New York City and back into non-collegiate society it’s become an issue.

  The first few months back were okay. The following two years have not been okay. If I’m just out walking or sitting around in a café with Briar and Rafe, no one seems to care. But if I’m out with the family or at a club with a group, I suddenly become scads more interesting and the perfect media fodder.

  I hate it. I can’t stop it. I have to live with it.

  It’s not fair to be in this position, but this is the hand I've been dealt. It doesn’t mean I have to accept it. I don’t get this emotional every time pictures show up or an article is written; only when the pictures or the article tarnish who I truly am. I’m not some hussy, or a slut, or a party animal. These pictures have caught me off guard. They were taken when I had let a wall shatter and got comfortable. I don’t do that outside of the family.

  And then Lincoln came along.

  Damn him and his Adonis hotness.

  Chapter Twelve

  Things have settled down now that we’re all full from dinner. Miles and Briar are snuggling on the oversized chair, happy to be out about their relationship. Asher is in his room doing his homework as promised. Rafe and I are sitting together on the short end of the couch looking at the new issue of Vanity Fair. Lincoln is in the kitchen with Amy helping her clean up from dinner.

  “You guys don’t have to stick around, you know,” I shared with the group. I just want to curl up on the couch and read a sappy romance novel. “I’ll be fine.”

  I’ve been saying that phrase a lot lately.

  “Well, I should go anyway. I have models to dress for a spread early tomorrow. I should get some sleep for that. Models in the early morning are not fun...unless I can fill them with mimosas.” Rafe wraps his arms around me tightly and rubs my back with one hand. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow Gracie. Bye everyone.” He stands, getting nods and w
aves from everyone and ushers himself out the door.

  “Okay. I guess we’ll go then, too.” Briar gets up from Miles' lap and goes in search of her purse.

  We. They’re calling themselves a “we” now.

  Miles makes his way over and pulls me up to stand with him. He gives me a loving embrace. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay for a while longer?”

  “No. I’m just going to watch a movie or something.”

  “What are you going to do about...?” He nods over his shoulder towards the balcony where Lincoln is now filling his lungs with nicotine. “He wants to talk about this with you and you don’t seem to be letting him do that.” He’s whispering so low I can barely hear him. “He cares about you, Gracie. More than is comfortable for me at this point. But he’s good and would be good for you if you would just let him in. I know him. He's safe. He knows how to protect.”

  Startled by the last sentence, I pull back a stitch so I can make contact with Miles’ eyes. “What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean, he knows how to protect who he cares about. He and I have a lot more in common than just Harvard.”

  “Does that mean what I think it means?”

  “I’m not saying anymore. If you want to know, you’re going to have to ask him yourself.” And with that said, he kisses me on the nose and goes to say goodbye to Lincoln.

  Briar appears in front of me. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? Call me if you need.”

  “And where will you be tonight?” I ask in a playful way.

  “Where do you think?” She asks with a glimmer in her eye.

  I grab her and hug her. “I love you.”

  “You too, babe.” She gives me one last shimmery smile and meets Miles at the door. They both give one last wave and leave.

  Lincoln comes back in from the balcony and walks past me toward the foyer.

  Amy has mysteriously disappeared, leaving Lincoln and I alone; me still standing in the middle of my living room and him standing at the bar.

  “I should go too,” he says with his head down. “Call me if you need anything.” Putting his hands in his front pockets, he heads towards the door.

  “Wait.” He halts at my words. “You can stay if you want to.”

  “It’s okay. It seems like you want to be alone.”

  “I do. I mean, I want to be alone...with you.” His eyes brighten as he starts to slowly and steadily walk towards me. I sit on the couch with Duritz in my lap. He follows suit, keeping a short distance between us. We haven’t taken our eyes away from each other. “Now that everyone’s gone, do you want to talk about it?”

  “Only if you want to. I don’t want to push, Grace.”

  “I want you to. You should know a few things about what surrounds my life. Things I’m sure Miles hasn't told you.” I can’t believe I want to tell him this stuff. But if he wants to be a part of my life he needs to understand why my family does what they do, especially why I do what I do.

  “Let me say something before you dive into your family secrets, okay?”

  I nod in acceptance and he scoots a bit closer.

  “You do things to me Grace. You make me feel things I haven't felt in a long time, if ever. Obviously, I care about you. I think I’ve made that clear.” I nod again and my face flushes which brings a sexy smile to his face. He takes both my hands in his. “This stuff that happened today doesn’t matter to me. I’m used to having things said about me and my family. My father thrives on that. He thinks any publicity is good publicity for him and his career. He feels it’s relevant to him, not really caring about what it does to the rest of the family. But seeing you so upset and sad today broke me. I thought I caused it by taking you out. I just wanted to take you somewhere where I knew I could make you feel comfortable. I thought you would be safe with me.” His jaw starts to clench as his anger slowly shows on his face.

  “After seeing those pictures of you...of us, I wanted to hurt someone. Whoever took them. Whoever let them get on the internet. My assistant saw them and came to me while I was on the phone with you. Right after we hung up, Miles called. We talked about what was happening and how he was going to take care of it. That man protects you something fierce.” I smile, loving that brother of mine. “After much disagreement, I convinced him to let me help. We’re going to take care of this. I’m not going to let this get worse.”

  “It won’t. Like I said before, it’ll all blow over by tomorrow.”

  “Cut the bull, Grace. Miles told me what happened last time.” He sounds so authoritative.

  “He did?”

  Fuck. I was hoping that wasn’t going to come up.

  Three months ago, Patrick and I were caught in Central Park having an intimate moment. The “photographer” somehow got a shot of Patrick’s hand up my shirt and my leg curling around his with his other hand on my raised thigh. There isn't too much he can do to the magazines or the websites, so Miles found out who the photographer was and did his magic on him. The guy ended up following me down the street about a week after that and cornered me close to an alley near my apartment. He put his hands on me and told me I was going to get the same treatment that he got from Miles. Thank God Thomas had been outside my building and close enough to see me being pulled into the alley with him. He came to the rescue. I got away with only a few bruises on my arms from where he had grabbed me and a shaky sense of security. That man was not so lucky. Needless to say, Thomas got a raise from Daddy after that.

  “Yeah, he did. No one will get to you like last time. I promise.” He lays a hand on my cheek while still keeping a grasp on my hand with his other. “No one will lay a hand on you. I won’t let that happen.”

  “We've known each other for all of a few days. What is the need to protect me? I have three older brothers and a very protective father for that.”

  He shrugs and smirks. “I want to.”

  Wow. The Adonis wants to watch over me.

  Talk about overwhelming.

  “Miles said you know how to protect those you care about. And that you have more in common with him than I realize. What does that mean exactly?” I think I know, but I need to hear him say it.

  “Maybe we should talk about this later.” He gets a little fidgety, meaning it’s a sensitive subject for him. I need to know if he does what I think he does.

  “Please, Linc. Tell me.”

  “You called me Linc.”

  “So.”

  “So, only my friends call me Linc. That means you’re my friend.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “You like me.”

  I sigh. “You’re stalling.”

  He takes a long pause and searches my eyes with his own. Suddenly, they still into a soft stare and as he begins to speak quietly. “I know how to bring in money and I know how to make things disappear. If someone is making a mess of a situation that involves my family or anyone else I care about, I fix it. I have resources that allow me to do that. If my father calls on me to do something, I do it. I have to.”

  “So... how do you do that?”

  He has a look of contemplation on his face. I don’t think he’s going to tell me, but after a few seconds he says abruptly, “I threaten people. I fight. I pay people off. Whatever it takes. Sometimes it's legal, sometimes not. It's violent at times. Whatever he needs me to do to get him what he wants. For our family.” He looks away for a moment, then returns me, searching for something...anything that could help him.

  “Who is he?” I dare ask.

  “When I was a teenager, I learned that my father was not the cleanest politician. He was in deep with some shady business deals. Passed down from his father, my grandfather no less. We call it the family business. I was told it was in my blood to work for the family. Whatever position I was called upon would be what I was supposed to do. When I was eighteen, my father tapped me to be his clean-up man. Apparently the one he had was not able to do the duties any longer. He opened his resources to me and sent me off to do the work. Ev
en when I was away at school he would call and I would come. It was the life I knew. The life I still know. I'm just smarter and stronger now. I was a kid trying to please his father. Now I have the need to repay him for...” He stops and shakes his head quickly as though clearing that thought. “The harsh things I've had to do, my mother turns a blind eye to it. Not some of my finer moments, but it's what I have to do.”

  “What do you have to do?” He wasn’t looking at me. “What do you have to do, Linc?” I asked a little sharper.

  He hangs his head lower. “Things I wish I didn’t do. Things I wish I didn’t know about or how to do. He uses me as the middle man to get his message across to whoever he's doing business with. He calls me the muscle. In reality, I'm just doing his dirty work. I always have a gun or knife with me just in case. I'm always looking over my shoulder to see if someone my dad did bad business with wants retaliation. I've never killed, but a couple of times I beat a man so bad he can't be recognized.” He reaches for my hand and I let him take it. “I don't want to do this anymore. I have better things in my life now than I did then. But I can't get out. He won't let me out. I'm too much of an asset to him now.” I’m pretty sure he’s not going to tell me any more tonight and I’m not going to press this any further. I realize in this moment that maybe he can be a part of my life. He can help me. I can help him. He wants to be better and I want him to be, too.

  I should let him in. I need to let him in. For both our sakes.

  Linc's face drops and goes emotionless. I do the only thing I can think of to help him out of this place in his head. I gently place my little buddy on the carpet at my feet. I scoot as close as I can to him, place my hands on his jaw, lift his head and lay a soft kiss on those gorgeous lips. He doesn't kiss me back at first. After a few seconds, he responds to me by gently moving his lips with mine. No tongues. No fierceness. Just slow, gentle kissing. I slowly pull away, keeping my hands on his jaw.

  “Maybe before you make the decision to be my ultimate protector, you should know a thing or two about me and my family.”